Monday, February 27, 2006

blogger's block

hi. lately ive had a case of the blogger's block.

i am tossing around a toy for wilbur that looks like a furry green corn husk with arms and a face.

i am going to think of things i am grateful for. i know i have already devoted past blogs to this activity, but tim keel said once that God's will for our lives can be summed up in one word: gratitude. it's not such a mystery when you think about it like that.

so i am thankful for:
how beautiful it was today. it felt like summer.i love that first taste of warm weather. i had my windows down and music so loud even though i didn't like the song. i am thankful for wilbur and how he has too much skin to fit his body right so he is just a big ball of fur and fat. so cuddly. so flopsy. i am thankful that my mom is coming tomorrow to stay with me. and that my friend keri is in town who i haven't seen in 4 years since we were 3 months into the hardest summer of our lives with misquito bites everywhere and running on 4 hours sleep. when we finally got off work from the camp, we bought flip flops from walmart (boo) that lit up when you stepped and we made up a night dance. she is amazing. she is so fun. so full of God.

i love god. i love that he is so big. and i am thankful that he is always new to me. yet neverchanging. i am thankful for how he shows me himself in other people. and in books. and in silence.

i read all these articles on the quarterlife crisis in my cubicle today because i really wonder sometimes if i am the only one that can be feeling this way. i know i am not. it was good to hear that this is an actual syndrome that has earned enough popularity to actually be named. i know everyone is lost and looking. trying to figure out what the adult version of themselves looks like. it is comforting to know everyone faces this. but it is hard. too hard, almost.

some days i just want to quit straining and say this is it. this is going to be me. no more development. no more goals. and i will sit home watching full house reruns and dallas and making waffles and taking my dog for long walks. and i'll paint and draw and make up stories all day. and hang out with god and with my friends. and that's it. wilbur and the corn husk just gave the nod to this plan.

so it's official.

at least til 830 tomorrow am.

ps. this lovely lady pictured above is done by the late and great margaret kilgallen.


At 7:56 PM, Blogger allie statler said...

you know that i 100% understand this state of confusion you speak of.
i was just reading today in my sociology book that age 40 is still considered early adulthood. so maybe what we are feeling, is this need to already be mature, fully developed adults, who know exactly what they want. but the fact is that in this stage called adulthood, we are pretty much new borns, just trying to figure out what the heck is going on.
the good news is by the time we're fifty we are going to have it going on...if you know what i mean...


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