Thursday, January 05, 2006

vexed and perplexed

does anyone else feel paralyzed by indecision?

this is pretty much a theme of my life that God is revealing to me. I have become increasingly impaired by it (or increasingly aware of it) ever since I finished school. i know this age...this life stage is... inherently...a time of searching. a time of angst. and everyone is faced with confusion from time to time. forced to make a blind choice and learn by the consequences.

i just feel especially confused. kind of lost in corporate-land. flushing down 8 hours a day. day day after day.

I know God has a purpose for me. And I know that part of his purpose for me could be the actual search for my purpose...
which means that maybe my longing to do more (that is crescendo-ing daily) is part of his purpose after all. and it is developing in me a hunger...a hole...which will guide me to the shape...the type of work I will have to find to fill it.

can we count on fulfillment at work? especially at our age? is there a rule that we have to put in our time doing the less-than-satisfying work before we can do what we really want to do?


People say I'm indecisive, but I don't know about that.
•••George H.W. Bush

Each indecision brings its own delays and days are lost lamenting over lost days. . . . What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has magic, power, and genius in it.
•••Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


At 12:02 PM, Anonymous Ryan "The Eternally Wise" Jones said...

I hear your angst, and I think I've got the answer to all your problems. I want to say one word to you. Just one word...plastics.

At 7:08 AM, Anonymous Mr. G said...


I'm glad you have semi-resolved to continue your blog. I enjoy reading your thoughts even though it takes some courage on your part to publish them.

I read this: "We dream our lives in grand gestures, but we live our lives in small moments....The days we live seem to conspire against our spiritual selves."

The challenge for me is to celebrate and consecrate the ordinary. Maybe that is part of the "new eyes" quote from yesterday.

At 8:11 PM, Blogger allie statler said...

listen, just quit and we will go into the funny business, i mean it we are a funny duo i think we could make it.

At 2:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ms. bini,

you are REDiculously talented...i can only assume that is the cause for your frustration. you will never run out of opportunities for successs! you are truly one of my greatest inspirations!


p.s. i would like to go into the funny business, too. though i'm really not that funny.....


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