i am thankful for fresh bedsheets and puppy snuggles.
for long times alone on the mountain in tennessee where the sky was peeled back like an orange and bright stars seemed a reachable distance. i am thankful for my journals, pages once blank stained and splashed with thoughts and records of thoughts that zap me back to that place and time, that feeling. i am thankful for late nights with niki and making movies with ryan. i am thankful for red and flowered sheets sleeping in allie's bed even though mine was a few feet away. lord of the rings and harry potter singing me to sleep. for our friendship. i am thankful for tearful moments. for moments where i feel alone in the world for Him to see...and the distance between us bows and I feel his eye on me. for moments when he seems so real and so close that i can see nothing else for his hugeness. I am thankful for long laughs with jason, and all our good memories. for his moments of softness and the hints of something we once had. for tenderness. I am thankful for tenelle, for how my guises drop when I'm around her. for chai tea and peanut butter graham crackers and references to jokes 3 years old. for 1217. i am thankful for my mom's unpretending. she is never false. she is never repetitive, she is never surfacey. she is honest. she has taught me about honesty. i am thankful for big diet cokes with lots of ice and how music becomes so different when it is played so loud that it drowns everything else out but that lump in your throat. i am thankful for sunburns and summer, for new clothes and family. for dancing, square and otherwise. for the cha cha slide and hardwood floors that we slid over on pillows. for allison and the image of alf tied up to a bedpost that is forever burned on my mind. i am thankful for losing all my friends in one year, and rebuilding up from there. i am thankful for the moment with rob and the deer. for other small and huge romantic moments with people who are now strangers, but still dear to me in that moment: for old friendships that are now far away but still special. for new friendships and a new jason and amber. i am thankful for a job, even one that is not very ego-stroking. I am thankful for the lake, the sting of sun and the taste of lakewater hair whipping about in the wind as we fly over waves a thousand years old. bouncing of tubes and each other and breathing a little deeper and a little slower and taking it all in.